“Never stop being a student.” This is a phrase spoken by lots of military people, and people who practice covering their ASP. Attitude. Skills. Plan. They always are eager to learn, never a beginner for more than once, but they are always improving. These are the real people that change the world, those willing to never compromise, and never quit.
Dyspraxia does not have a “cure”. There is no antidote for a neurological disorder… and I use that term disorder lightly. I’m living “with” it. I’m not going to freak out about the degenerative properties of have something neurological. But like some out there, I’m not going to let it take over my life.
There will be good and bad days to dyspraxia. Some days my handwriting is a lot better than others. Other times, it’s hard to get my own hand to write something I want to create and it’s frustrating. I’m smart. I know I know how to spell that word, but my neurology just gets so mixed up. Too much information can overload my system. I’m like a computer. An example:
I was at the store recently with my momma, and we are kicking out a new comforter set for my new and improved room. It looks like I’m a 20 year old now, not an 8 year old. Plus lighted gun cabinets plus a purple bed set do not mix. So we are picking out some comforter sets, just looking at them, and all the sudden…it happens. My head started going haywire! The psychedelic patterns, all the different pallets of colors, not many of them matching — most of them clashing. I freak out and put my head down and look at the floor. The light, it’s shattering my head and my eyes! It feels like someone was jabbing a knife in my eyes, but it didn’t hurt per se.
Mom was concerned, I’d had a cluster headache four hours before where my head started pounding. But my eyes and my brain were so overloaded by the plethora of different colors and patterns it came out as…well not really pain, but it had to do something. My body gave me something to deal with. I was suddenly nauseous. Sensitive to any kind of light. It was pretty scary to be honest. She didn’t know what to think, so we got out of that area. I was almost instantly better. It was the craziest experience, and I started realizing that this dyspraxia is a very real thing.
So! How do I make it better? How is something that I know is going to get worse with time not going to beat me? Well, there is a good answer to that and that is to train your brain. I will not out train this thing, like a good workout will not out train a bad diet — and by this I mean over eating. But I will never cure my brain by training it. But I can slow it down. I can force my brain to be better at things I’m not good at.
For a very long time — and I’m so guilty of this, and still am — I’ve been afraid of failure. I don’t do things I know, or think I know, I’m not going to do well in. This still happens, but it’s gotten so much better with just a bit of confidence. And to realize that failure is growth. I fall, I brush myself off, I stand. That was the biggest turn around for me was to realize the hardest lessons are the ones that push you to grow.
So the ones that are afraid of training because they might fail, failure will make you better. When working out you want to push until failure. When I shoot, I want to almost miss my target to get better, to not drop my hand, or spazzzzzzz out when I pull the trigger and not jump. I want to drop my shoulder more or breathe. The only way to do that is to miss the target. Or maybe in my online self defense training, I want to maybe skid my knees on the carpet, or fall doing a back kick to work on my balance. Or maybe hit something wrong to maybe tighten my fist or push through the wall, and not pull my punch.
I put myself in situations where I have to improve. There are no options. Never quit. I am always training. Working out especially helps because there are certain moves where my body is in on plane of space, and in the next, it’s in a completely different area of space. And my dyspraxia hits my spacial orientation with a truck! It’s so hard for me to place something in spacetime with ease. I make my body be in different areas and have to think about it. My brain has to put my hands in the right place. So that is the biggest piece of advice that I can give you. Is make your greatest curse become your greatest asset. With enough hope, dedication, tenacity, and training, we can show others that dyspraxia does not have to rule your world.
This goes for every aspect of your life.
Never Stop Being a Student
Cover your ASP
I love you guys and thanks for hanging with me on this longer post! If you have a dyspraxic moment you want to share, drop it off in the comments, I’ll be sure to pick it up! 🙂