Hello, all my darlings!
I wanted to share with you something new I’m going to be doing. To make sure I post something daily. I’ve found, as my muscles will in working out, my brain will atrophy should I not exercise its beautiful use. So today, I’m starting a “creative” writing thing called Daily Reflections, found in the ‘categories’ category… (Pun nation. It’s fun.)
So, something awesome happened to me today. Awesome, and not awesome at the same time. I’ll ‘sesplain’ in a minute! I started rereading American Sniper… for like the third time. I forgot which rifle Chris got his longest kill with. And I was beside myself in shock.
I. missed the question? What the eff? Really? Really, really, Hailey, really?
And as fun as self-deprecation can be, I stopped and grabbed my book. It turned out he never explained which gun he shot the beach balls or the longest shot ever with. But I still felt bad. It was Chris Kyle. Although, he’d frown upon my reasoning and possibly why I was so upset. It’s not like I knew him.
So not the point. I am reading along and I come across something that in like the five times of reading this specific spot over and over again I hadn’t noticed. I identified with what Chris was saying and totally affirmed a doubt I’ve had in my mind.
To the sexual abuse survivors and any kind of physical abuse…
Have you ever suddenly felt that you were gonna puke any second? MEN; this next part could get awkward, so proceed with caution…
Girls who have been sexually abused have reported feeling…almost like a repeat incident. Like someone is hurting you right then and there. This is what sometimes happens to me and it used to happen all the time. Let me ask you a personal question, not that I’m actually there in person with you, but answer this for yourself…
Have you ever felt a pain generally around the girl parts? Is it hard to pinpoint right? It usually, for me – but everyone is different – felt a really horrible headache come on. And then you start to shiver. Then you get nauseous, and then comes the vaginal pain. Pain like I’d never remembered feeling before. The first time it happened I almost puked. The first time it happened around my mentor, I almost puked on him. Even he could tell I’d grown especially pale in about three minutes since he saw me last.
Three minutes to deteriorate into a shaking ball of memories and pain. It really hurts right? Well, Chris Kyle had a similar experience in his BUD/S training. Obviously, he didn’t get those weird female feelings. But he had something similar happen.
He says in his book after being Jackhammered, it literally became his nightmare. Literally his nightmares, for now. What he means by this is part of the training he had to endure. They go down to the freezing cold ocean and sit their butts down in the water for as long as the instructors want to torture you. The water was so cold that he would literally be shaking…like a jackhammer from being so damn cold!
“After Hell Week, I would wake up shivering all the time. I could be under all sorts of blankets and still be cold because I was going through it all again in my mind.”
I was going through it all again in my mind. I was going through it all again in my mind!
Is that not an affirmation or what? If you’ve had this happen, remember so did Chris Kyle! I find that incredibly comforting, in a weird kind of way. That someone like him has..eh, had … these experiences. And by someone like him, I mean someone with a lot more mental capabilities than myself suffering the same symptoms. It’s all mental!
You are not crazy. It’s Post Traumatic Stress. And Chris Kyle went through the same thing. Had his brain replay a traumatic event and his body replayed the same thing.
Stay tough guys! And remember Navy SEALs go through a similar thing, too. God Bless you all! I’ll make a video soon dealing with what happened today! I hope you’re gonna like the daily devotion stuff. Let me know!