February 2nd 2016

‘Oh GOD!’, I thought at 11:56 last night. ‘Tomorrow is the day.’ I thought I’d go to sleep. I slept roughly. Tossing and turning all night long. To wake up in the morning and realize,

‘Oh shit! Today’s the day.’ I woke up normally. 10 seconds, I looked around. And then it hit me. Hard. I get this pit in my gut. The same pit I remember feeling three years ago.

Three years ago. Three years ago I was 17, crushing so hard on a guy I thought my heart would give out. I went to the gym because of him. Because no 17-year-old wants to get up to go to the gym on a Saturday otherwise!

There were a lot of people there that time of day. I think it was around one o’clock or maybe even later, my mentor and my crush and I all stayed a little longer than normal that day when I heard the news. A ding on my cell. It was from my dad, telling me in short, “Navy SEAL was murdered. :(” I did a double take. I thought SEALs can’t die, can they?

I asked, who?

I got a reply back.

Chris Kyle. 

I had gasped, perhaps by the Grace of God himself near my mentor. He instantly asked me, because of his caring nature, what’s wrong, Hailey?  I told him the news and he, too, was concerned. I looked over at my crush about to deploy for Basic. I clearly remember looking at him like I was scared. I didn’t want whatever happened to a SEAL to happen to him! It was amazingly breathtaking.

I went home and stayed glued to the TV after we started getting more information on the details. I was somewhat enamored because Robin had been within fifteen feet of myself. I realized quickly though that this was horrible and I needed to care about this. This was the guy that we’d followed for years. A stupid, know it all, know-you’re-hot boy…. could wait.

So today I remember. I remember him, the sacrifice, and the amazing loss everyone felt that day. That day more three percent cared. We were all touched by his murder. Now, something wonderful has come out of something so tragic. But I remember the tragedy today. The loss. The shock.

And we also remember Chad Littlefield. He was also involved in this senseless murder. He’s also up there in Heaven with Chris. The Littlefield family has had a huge loss today too, and he is in my thoughts and heart. Both families feel the loss today. A moment of silence will be nice.


Three years later I’m a much different person and in a much better place. Much like Chris Kyle. I love you, Chris! I never even met you. But it would have been my pleasure! Keep doing what you’re doing. See you soon, CK!


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